It's his funeral!

So Lewis Hamilton has said that, despite being branded as 'dangerous' before the British Grand Prix, he will never change the way he drives until the day he dies!

I have absolutely no problem with this - he can go tomorrow, for all I care - I don't think he'll be greatly mourned, or a great loss to mankind!

However, I just hope that by his arrogant manner, some other poor sod doesn't get killed first!

Give him a taste of his own medicine, I say!

So top Met Police Dog handler and trainer just happened to forget that he'd left two dogs in his care in his van, on one of the hottest days of the year! Oh, dear, how careless of him! To his 'credit' he did attempt to slash his wrists, but with the kind of ineptitude we've come to expect, he didn't even get this bit right!

He will face prosecution from the RSPCA, and a 'disciplinary investigation' - some people are calling for his immediate dismissal. They won't get that, of course, he'll just be moved somewhere else, possibly even promoted.

No, I have a better idea! Let's lock him in an industrial oven, preferably with heat-resistant glass sides and back, so we can all watch! I'd happily turn it on, but suspect that I'd have to wait my turn in a very long human queue...to say nothing of the entire dog population in this country!

The man's a total disgrace to mankind!

Grow up, Mr Clarkson!

I used to be a fan of Jeremy Clarkson and, years ago, enjoyed Top Gear when they were sensible and talked about sensible things, and cars to which the average person could aspire.

A couple of nights ago I saw they were talking about the Reliant Robin - in my student and early teaching days I had a few of these, for their economy, and, initially the fact that they could be driven on a motorcycle licence!

I was horrified to see Clarkson manage to turn over his Robin virtually every few seconds, I know with three wheels there is a stability problem, but if you're aware of this, then there is no real problem. He set out deliberately to turn the car over at every opportunity, simply because he though it was funny. Well, I expect those few owners still enjoying the little car weren't so amused. The fact that he took every single corner so fast simply attests to his POOR driving, not an inherent design fault! Interestingly, despite being upended numerous times, the poor little car still kept going - and, I see that the Reliant Robin is involved in the fewest accidents today - of course, as the paper said, most of its owners are very old, but they're careful!

He also seemed to derive great delight in burning the rubber off the rear tyres of a new Bentley Sport Coupe - wasn't that clever - he's lucky enough to be able to afford one, let alone get one free to abuse!

I only wished he'd done himself some real damage, as I find hos over-inflated ego just too much.

And, while on that tack, I find his side-kick, Richard Hammond, equally as objectionable - rubbishing family cars which most people have to save up for - I just wish that perhaps that crash he had, had been more conclusive, and we wouldn't have to stick his childish prattle!

The same time, I saw the other member of the team, James, present a programme where he succeeded in running a model train between Bideford and Barnstaple - he came over so much better, so less arrogant, so much more mature - I suggest he leaves these other two buffoons to get on with Top Gear - it does him no favours in the credibility stakes!

Why don't Clarkson and Hammond just grow up!!

Hamilton does it again!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - Hamilton is a reckless, dangerous driver, in my humble opinion!

In fact, this view is shared by no less a person than former world champion, Niki Lauda.

Of course, Hamilton will get away with punishment, for his antics at yesterday's Canadian Grand Prix, just as he did at the earlier Monaco event - the chips are stacked in his favour!

But, and I'm going to get in touch with Santander, using him as a role model, where a full-size cardboard cut-out (at least a safer driver!) awaits you in most every branch of the Spanish bank across the UK, is giving the wrong picture.

In these economic times, we need stability and common sense in managing our finances.

I contend that Lewis Hamilton suggests danger and poor judgement - something that any investor or saver certainly doesn't want to see!

If you feel like me, why don't you write to Santander, too!

England and Crapello do it again!

If you had the misfortune to watch that shameful display against the Swiss, you'll surely realise that neither has England a hope in hell of beating any decent team, or that the much over-paid and over-hyped Capello will ever be able to achieve anything - excellent ensure a big fat payout (of our money!)

The Swiss simply made us play like amateurs, were far better on the ball and, had their Arsenal defender (the bloke with the really stupid haircut!) not played as badly for the Swiss team, as he does for Arsenal, the Swiss would easily have won!

But it doesn't take much to realise why!

Let us assume that Man U is currently the best team in the Premiership. When they played Barcelona, they were made to look totally ordinary. Barcelona has a high percentage of Spanish players, Man U, like every Prem team is a complete mixture, so effectively we've hardly any decent English players anywhere. Look at Bent, for example - what total rubbish - those misses were of schoolboy amateurism!

Oh, and just one final comment: ITV had two pundits commenting on the match - Gareth Southgate, who seems a nice bloke, was a good player, but didn't distinguish himself managerially - and Peter Reid, who by his astute managerial skills has managed to bring Plymouth Argyle down and down - exactly what does he know about international football, I hear you ask! Oh, and a final moan - commentator, Andy Townsend is blessed with the gift of the gab - but in his case it's the worst sort - verbal diarrhoea - why can't he just shut up occasionally - he wasn't a bad player, admittedly, but.........

Plymouth Argyle - a good ambassador for the city!

So Plymouth Argyle football club is to be relegated next season, and will find itself down in Division 2. Of course, it true PC fashion, this is actually worse than it sounds. Just like in education, where 'A' has always sufficed to distinguish the best results, we now need to have 'A*' - has the best really got better, or is it rather like the composer, Schumann, for example, who asks that a piece of music be played 'as fast as possible' - then asks for it to be 'even faster' later on!

Division 2 is, infact, Division 4 - the lowest you can get without playing on the village green. The Premiership is the old Div 1, the Championship Div 2, so it's worse than you think - but is it!

Plymouth, despite its relative size, is a fourth-division city - just on the news, the decision to shut Plymouth Airport will be greeted in Exeter with great pleasure, as this will now expand, and become the gateway to the South West.

Culture stops, anyway, at Bristol - something trickles down to Exeter, and then filters through to Truro, neatly bypassing Plymouth - a naval town, but where there's hardly much navy left.

Our traffic system's a complete mess - there have been major roadworks for a year - unlike everywhere else, our traffic policy seems to be: narrow the roads, increase the pavement width, give wider cycle paths, and sod the motorist. Other cities seem to realise that if you widen the arteries, the blood flows better!!

I am sorry to say that, virtually through an accident of birth, I am a Plymothian - it's probably the one thing I can't actually change, like my nationality. We can re-assign our sexes, but once we're born, that's it - I wonder whether the church would allow me to be 'reborn' somewhere else - after all. it extols the praises of marriage as a holy state, where people don't live together until they are married - that is, of course, unless you're a 'Royal'! It's sensible to try anything out before you sign on the dotted line - but it's hypocritical of the church to take all the money for these kinds of weddings.

...and we still give money to Pakistan!!

So the Americans have taken out Osama Bin Laden - good job they did, as if it had been us, we'd probably have apologised profusely to the guy for disturbing him in his stronghold, and offer him alternative accommodation here in the UK - with free NHS, or rather private medical treatment.

What is unbelievable is that his stronghold was in a fairly affluent town, not far from the capital - it looked like a stronghold, or fortress - it had no Internet or phone - and yet the Pakistanis didn't seem to know it was there?!? Had it been disguised as an Asda store, with mock petrol pumps, I could possibly have understood their confusion.

And yet the UK government persists in giving money to this regime! As I said at the start, a good job the Americans got to him first - good riddance, I say!